i’m a mess, i’m a wreck. half of the time i feel weak and so small on the inside. my heart is ugly and i am completely unlovable.
i am ignored by most and no one understands me. i spend most of my hours alone contemplating about life and when it’ll get better. i have no one to turn to.. i look to my left, i look to my right.. just walls. not a single soul. not even one heart to beat alongside my own.
my eyes hurt from crying and i cannot stand another morning of waking up with swollen eyes and tissues surrounding my bed.
i need to be strong.
so i fill my head with empty promises they feed you in their songs like, “don’t worry, be happy” or “everything is gonna be alright” when you know it won’t be for quite sometime.
"you know it’s gonna be alright.. everything is gonna be alright.."
i was looking through my documents and found this.. an oldie but goodie.
i woke up today missing the feeling of fulfillment of guaranteed satisfaction of being with you.. i miss your soft, smooth skin pressed up against my hard, stubborn self. i can’t wait to smell the scent of warm vanilla in a cold, sunny morning. and your lustful but trustful voice who attends to attempt temptation for more of my time, breaks me down to give you more of my time easily, and with you it’s like a summer day with a cool breeze, we keep it chillin. and girl, the worst part i gotta console to be concealed with is to deal with closing my eyes just for a little bit, wishing you were here my dear, which you’re not, and telling myself, just a couple of days is what i got, and when i finally see you, i wanna spend more than a lot, ‘cause to me, you’re valued more than a lot.. your company is good company, so best believe you be the business, and i’ll always be forever with you ‘cause you’re the one that gets me and you’re the one who gets this…