MY attention? why, sweetheart, are you not catching my eye? :P haha
well if i’m not attracted to you right off the bat, then just be a sweetheart to me & a gentleman. prove to me that chivalry isn’t dead. but at the same time, you have to be badass. always down to do whatever, whenever. or just make me laugh!
uhmm, i like it when boys already have a plan. when they know exactly what to do and where to go. be in command! i’ll love it.
we’d have to go do something fun.. like go to a shooting range, paintball.. go karts.. boating.. idk. take me out to dinner somewhere different & exciting. i like trying new things. & then after, when it gets a bit darker, we can go to a viewpoint & just talk. or if it’s not too windy, go to the beach. i like going to the beach at night. :] yeeeeuh! sounds perfect.
you think that i don’t know, but you really have nooo idea.
so i’m going out today. i’m not going to talk to you, i won’t think about you. i won’t bring you up in conversation. and if anyone asks, i don’t know you. and this cycle is going to continue for the next day, and the next day, and the next day.
you’re nothing to me now. i don’t need anyone in my life that doesn’t need me.
let me tell you about my Monday night/Tuesday morning Tumblr!
so Keith brings me home around.. 11 or 12. i was resting on my bed, about to call it a night when Peter & Panda hit me up to go out and drink with them. then right after, Joepeezy, Ray, Kevin, and Sara hit me up to go out also. so we all met up at my house and we left to go to Mussel Rock. drinking and smoking.. talking about random bs. i stayed sober the entire night though! aren’t you proud of meeee? :P then we left for Baker Beach, where we seen this creepy ass guy dressed in black carrying a stick. Ray and i were down to mob on him.. lol, justkidding. by this time, Ray was drunk, and i think Peter & Panda were buzzed. it was almost 3 when Kevin decided we should all go to Stow Lake.
and this is where all the weird, creepy shit starts to happen. they say that 3AM is the devil’s hour. i never really believed that before, but after last night…..
if you haven’t heard, there are ghosts at Stow Lake. the most popular one is ‘The White Lady’. supposedly, in the 20’s or 30’s, her kids drowned in the lake, so she goes around asking people if you have seen her kids. there are a bunch of other urban legends about The White Lady, but you can go Google that on your own time :]
anyway, we arrived at Stow Lake and parked by the boat & bike rentals in front of the bathroom. it was Sara, Ray, Kevin, Joepeezy, and I in one car, while Peter & Panda were in another. Sara and Ray were sitting in the front. it was 3:15AM. we were all just talking, fooling around when we notice Ray staring at Sara. we thought he was just trying to scare us, so we all called out his name, tapping him, flicking him… trying to get him to stop, but he wouldn’t. he wasn’t talking, or moving, just.. looking at Sara.
"You can stop now, Ray!" no response.
and i honestly can’t remember what happened first, but i think Panda went up to Ray’s window to see if he was okay, and Ray started staring at Panda.
"Ray, don’t stare at me like that, man." Panda pushes Ray’s head away and Ray moves his head back to the same position and continues to stare at Panda. "Ray, don’t look at me like that.. i swear to God" Panda pushes his head away once again, and this continues about two more times.
We decide to leave, because everyone was getting all weirded out.. and Ray, still in his little creep mode, simply says “I died at the hospital.”
We didn’t really acknowledge what he said at that time, and i think it’s because we all had other things on our mind.. and at the same time, Sara was lecturing us, telling us that we shouldn’t have come here, ghosts sometimes follow people home.. Kevin was all trippin’ out, being all scared.. Joepeezy was trying to get Ray to stop doing what he was doing.. and I was just sitting there, taking in all of what was going on.
So we were driving through, Ray was still not moving or talking, and we almost got lost.. but we made it out. and when we got out of the park, Ray breathes in loud and deep and starts yelling..
"WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED, DON’T TOUCH ME, I SWEAR TO GOD, WHY AM I DEAF RIGHT NOW"
"Don’t touch him! Don’t touch him!"
"Stop at the gas station!"
So Sara pulls into the gas station and Ray asks us to explain to him what happened at the park. So then Joepeezy explained what went on, everyone gets out of the car, and like a bunch of retards, they start smoking cigarettes at a GAS STATION to calm their nerves. they really did not give a fuck. lol.
Ray wanted to go back to Stow Lake to confront the ghost/demon or whatever it was… but we all decided to just go to Westlake. So on our way to Westlake, Joepeezy says that he has a bad feeling, as if something is following him or watching him. And i just ignored it, thinking that he’s just scared from what happened earlier. Then Joepeezy jumps and screams, saying that something cold touched the back of his neck.
"Your neck probably just touched the metal part of the headrest, dude"
"My neck can’t even touch the metal part! My left arm is numb.."
We pulled up into the parking lot at Nation’s and Joepeezy arches his head back and starts to breathe in and out really hard. So we all try to ease him and help him out all in our own little way. Eventually, all the creepy stuff ended and Joepeezy was fine. We all ate at Nation’s, went to Twin Peaks after, and called it a night.. or morning. The sun had risen by this time :P
You might say that Ray & Joepeezy were just fucking with us, and maybe they were. Who knows? Regardless, it was an interesting night. And i shouldn’t even be discussing this.. it’s not that i’m scared, but i just get chills each time i do. It’s weird. Besides, it’s just one of those things that you just don’t talk about.. and i doubt any of us will bring up what happened that night ever again.
there's something special about you, i must really like you 'cause not a lot of guys are worth my time
it’s only been a couple of days, but i miss him.. i think i might visit him todaaay.
so about my love life… i’ve had plenty of opportunities with other boys.. i still do actually. some of which are cuter than he is, but i could care less. i really just want him. sure, we have our problems, but it’s nothing that we can’t fix this summer.. at least i hope. if not, then i know when to let go. but for now, i’m sticking with him, like glue.
gahhhd, i’ve been such a faithful bitch. it’s unusual. but i think he’s worth it. he’s worth the trouble
remember how i said i was going to Berlin during the summer? a couple of weeks ago, my auntie and i got into an argument and i jeopardized my trip because she was the one paying for it. of course i was disappointed and bummed out, but i quickly got over it thinking that i could use her car for those two weeks that she’ll be gone. then, just yesterday, my auntie called and told me to book OUR tickets for Berlin. i guess she’s over whatever me & her were arguing about.. and i should be happy that i get to go once again, but i really don’t feel like going anymore..
since i’ve been out partying ALL YEAR LONG, instead of vacationing, i feel like getting my shit together this summer. i’m looking for a job, i’m gonna help Keith & Panda out w/their company, move out w/Keith & Kc, & get my caaaaar. it sounds impossible, but i swear, i’m going to work my ass off to get where i need to be.
we're the new face of failure.. prettier and younger, but not any better off.
i told Kc that i want to go do something crazy, so i told her to come up with an idea. and the next day, she told me that she wanted to go to Socal to steal her dog back from her ex-girlfriend. not bad Kc, not bad…
i want to get a tattoo or my dimple piercings down there.. so i needs a yob, guise! hook me uuuup!
so do you remember the story i told of the girl who tried to rape me a couple of weeks ago?
Keith wanted to make a bet, saying that he can have rapist on him just as easily as she was on me. I took that bet, and the game was on. Just to clarify, i’m straight. so Keith and i hung out w/rapist.. and i’m not gonna lie, i did some things that i’m not proud of, and i let rapist do some things to me that i’m reaaaally not proud of. i did this to win and to personally fuck Keith’s game up.. but the next day, Keith called the bet off. can you imagine how i felt after i let all that happen the other night? fucking bastard. he said he wanted to do the bet with a different girl where we have an equal opportunity.
so now, Keith, Kc, and even Sweets make fun of me because of what i did w/rapist. i’m not pissed, but this isn’t very fair..
"Keith, who are those bitches you rolled with.. introduce me maaan"
so the plan tonight is.. workout at Planet Fitness and get drunk afterward. i hope ‘P’ isn’t going to be with us there.. i just want to be able to relax and not deal with him flirting with me. gah.
i told him i have someone already.. yet he doesn’t seem to care. i can’t stand those people.. the ones who have no respect for the relationship you’re already in. ah well. i guess if you don’t have a ring on your finger, then it’s fair game, right? :P
I'm living life right now and this is what I'ma do 'til it's over.. but it's far from over.
Gahhd, I haven’t been home in awhile.. It feels good to be in my own bed again!
I’m gonna change. I need to get back on track.. I’ve been neglecting my family and my old friends and now everyone is either worried or angry with me. Le sigh.. But i really don’t regret what I’ve been doing these past few weeks.. I’ve been with good company, met some really cool people, and gained a new perspective on life. Good things are gonna start to happen, I know it.